I think it's safe now...

So, I've been staying under the radar for a while but i think it's pretty safe now. You see since A-rod came out and admitted to using performance enhancing drugs all of the attention has been on him and baseball.
What a silly sport by the way. What fun is it to catch a ball??? Hmmm, that's why soccer is a cat sport, the idea is to Move or Kick the ball. Baseball is a total DOG sport.

Anyhow, ever since my home has been invaded with a screaming sack of potatoes, I've been a little worried about my ability to defend myself. Needless to say I've discovered away to "Enhance" my own performance.

Here's how it works, but please don't tell mom or dad I will be in BIG trouble
1st-I meow and scratch myself alot.
2nd-I find a spot on myself that isn't too painful or unattractive
3rd- I lick or chew, usually a combination, until a spot of fur is removed.

Guess what Mommy and Daddy do? " Oh my God Lancey is breaking out with allergies again"
I then go to that annoying place where they know how to touch and grab me the right ways. Then I get my shot.
There you have it. Free for me and completely legal Steroids.

View me however you like, but I need to stay on top of my game, and competition, and if using the juice does it, so be it.

Put an asterisk by my name. See if I care.

More meows later
Lancey


P.S. try to think of a movie or TV show that doesn't depict my species as scary, annoying, or tortured. Then think of a movie where those annoying Dogs are depicted poorly. I'll discuss this more later